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2. Provide the right information so children
know what you want. Provide feedback to let children know they are on the right
track to help the desired behaviour get repeated.
3. Praise is necessary but not sufficient. To facilitate healthy
self-esteem provide generous amounts of valuing, opportunities to develop
competency, opportunities for doing good deeds, and structure.
4. Spare the rod, but not the consequence. It is OK for children to pay
for behaviour that is unacceptable, potentially dangerous or harmful.
5. Negotiating offers a process where both sides can come away winners.
Sometimes parents have to remember to let go a little.
6. Be aware of how you are interacting with others in the home. Children
are more aware than we sometimes realize. Children will always learn more from
what we do than what we say. Parents are not really gods. Sometimes parents need
help too.
7. Factors beyond the immediate scope of the family also impact heavily
on children's development. To help our children, we must also work to create a
better world.
Gary Direnfeld is a social
worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report.
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