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Although this is an old statistic and we
know violence can be perpetrated by both genders, there is a sad truth
that remains: In addition to being abused directly, children are exposed to
violence between the caring adults within their home and it hurts too.
Children’s exposure to domestic violence ranges from
seeing physical altercations and attacks between their caregivers in the home;
to hearing the screaming and yelling; to seeing objects thrown or broken; to
seeing doors broken and fists through walls; to smelling flesh as burns are
inflicted; to witnessing the aftermath such as a distraught parent or blood or
bruises or physical destruction of belongings.
The effects of such exposure on children can be
devastating. Depending on the age of the child, the effects can vary. Babies can
present as inconsolable and have difficulty sleeping or feeding. Toddlers may
have problems with language development. They may be overly aggressive or overly
passive. They may demonstrate poor attachment to their caregiver. Preschoolers
exposed to violence at home may also be overly aggressive or overly passive.
They may avoid age appropriate exploration and they may show regressive
behaviour such as toileting accidents and problems. They may also begin to show
traits of oppositional behaviour. School age children may presents with learning
problems, difficulty with attention and symptoms of anxiety. They may appear
fearful of other adults or alternately, overly friendly so as to minimize their
perceived risk of upsetting the adult and experiencing wrath. Teenage children
can appear anxious or depressed. They may have significant school problems and
attendance problems. Teenagers may surface with drug and alcohol problems. As
they form relationships, boys are at risk of using harmful control strategies to
maintain the relationship whereas girls may be passive in their relationship
thus tolerating abusive behaviour.
It is simply a myth that children only
exposed to violence between their caring adults are not affected by it. The
truth is they are affected by it. The issue is how much and what can be dome
about it.
How much a child is affected depends upon the age of
the child and the type, severity, frequency and duration of exposure to violence
between their caring adults.
With regard to what can be done, the first rule is
always to provide for the safety of the child in a manner that eliminates the
risk of further exposure. This may require their caring adult to find safe
shelter. In the absence of such, it may require intervention by child protection
authorities to relocate the child to a place of safety. If this is the case,
care should be taken to ensure continuity of relationship with their
non-offending caring adult and continuity with their school and community.
Relocation should avoid dislocation, as the child would then have to
endure multiple losses that can contribute to other challenges in the treatment
process. Once the child and hopefully non-offending caring adult are secure, the
next steps involve facilitating as normal a routine and structure as possible
for the child and then attending to their counselling needs. Wherever possible
the more seamless the transition between these steps the better.
It is every child’s birthright to grow up free from
harm and also free from exposure to the harm of others. Such exposure can have
devastating effects on the child and can contribute to their experiencing
similar problems as adults. Intervening in a way that promotes safety while
preserving relationships and attending to their needs will go a long way to
reversing harmful effects and improving their future.
Gary Direnfeld is a social
worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report.
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