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A: According to Stanley Greenspan,
coauthor of The Challenging Child, children at this age move from being
family-oriented to being peer-oriented. One way they explore their relationships
with their friends and their position in the group is through play.
Playground chasing is about exploring
friendship, says Sharon Gesse, a child-life specialist at Children's Hospital of
Michigan, and it's a primitive form of flirtation. Once they get to school age,
girls begin to gather in small cliques—and chasing boys is an activity that
solidifies their standing as part of the "in" crowd. "This is a common way to be
part of the group while satisfying their curiosity about boys," says Marilyn
Segal, dean emeritus at the Family and School Center at Nova Southeastern
University in Fort Lauderdale.
Donna Pylman, a mother of three in Irvington,
New York, witnessed that behavior when her daughter Marissa was in kindergarten
and first grade. "She and her friend used to chase one of the boys because the
friend liked him," she says. Now that Marissa is 10, the dynamics of the
playground have changed. The boys usually play soccer at recess and the girls
either join them or play amongst themselves.
School is the place where many children
explore the sides of their personality that they keep in check at home. They
also tend to develop different kinds of relationships. "Isabel plays with
girlfriends outside of school," says her Mom, Susan Abraham of Montclair, New
Jersey. "At school, her aggressive side and tendency to push the limits come
out. Chasing boys is one expression of that."
If you're on the playground and see the game
begin, you may want to keep an eye out to make sure nothing inappropriate
occurs. Unless the boy who is being pursued is upset or uncomfortable by the
attention, or the game becomes too physical and you are worried about someone
getting hurt, avoid interfering.
Liza Asher is a
mother of four and writes on parenting issues for national magazines. She lives
in Montclair, New Jersey.
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