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It wasn’t until he took ill, seriously
ill, that we really got to know each other, that we had a place in each other’s
daily life. After his near death and many operations, I was trained as his nurse
to drain his wounds and freshen his bandages. It was far too gross for mom. I
appreciated the job though. I was finally close to my dad.
Taking care of him during his demise
seemed to lesson the pain of his absence from my younger life. I enjoyed his
company and attention and through a sad circumstance I was getting my fill. My
attitude to life lightened over those three years of caring for him.
Now I’m a dad, but not a workaholic.
Both were conscious decisions. I work from my home and have always enjoyed my
meals with my family. One child, a son, and we share a close relationship. I am
available for him and to a great extent this is taken for granted. Goal met. My
son only has to concentrate on school, work and friends.
Father’s Day is coming. I still have
the pencil holder made from a decorated tin can sitting on my desk – this from a
son who seemingly takes me for granted. Each year it is something else and each
year I couldn’t care less. You see, the gift I enjoy, day in and day out, is the
pleasure of my son’s company and knowing he is secure with our relationship and
my place in his life.
At heart, all men know dads are
important. We just have to remember to act that way for our kids. The rest will
take care of itself.
Want a great Father’s Day? Tell your
dad you love him and give your kid a hug today – before Father’s Day actually
arrives.
Gary Direnfeld is a social
worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report.
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